What I Never Knew I Wanted
by 88Ashley88
Summary: All he wanted was her lifetime guarantee. One Shot


**Just a one-shot. I hope you like it. Testing the waters since ending Undercover Honeymoon.**

 **I don't own anything that is related to Chicago PD or NBC**

"One day I'm gonna be old and gray," Jay announces first thing Sunday morning. Erin barely looks up from the newspaper she's been reading over a hot cup of coffee. She pours a little milk into the caffeinated drink and scans the paper's back page for interesting articles. She adjusts the strap of her lacy gray camisole, mindlessly twirls the drawstrings of her light pink cotton boxers that sat low on her hips. Her dirty blonde hair cascades over her eyes and she lets out a deep breath, watching as the hair resettles off her face. She bites her lip and takes a small sip of coffee. In the shining metal table she catches the reflection of her waiting boyfriend, now behind her and staring down her top.

"Old and grumpy, with arthritis and a hip problem," Jay insists, his breath dancing on Erin's bare neck.

The fine hairs at the nape of her neck stand up, yet she still sips her coffee, listening to the soft music coming from the stereo. Ever since she'd been with Jay she'd developed his habit of listening to the radio in the mornings, albeit, they had a difference of opinion on what good "music" was.

Erin tapped her foot against the light blue tile that covers the small kitchen floor. Jay swiveled her chair around to face him in one swift motion. She stares at him, her gaze sweeping from his bare feet to his dark blue flannel sleep pants to the strong bare chest lightly sprinkled with hair. She lingers a little on his chest. Reaching out she trails a finger through the hairs just below his belly button. His skin is soft and warm, the muscles of his abdomen tense under her touch. She licks her lower lip, and looks up into the blue eyes she adores.

His eyes are a deep blue, dark and light, a sea at peace in a storm. It's a color she's spread throughout the house, though she'd never admit it.

"I'm gonna alert the papers, Babe," she says, the corner of her mouth twisting up into a wry half smile. She lets him pull her up from the chair, the mug of coffee just barely making the table edge in time, newspaper floating to the floor in a messy heap. She lets him hold her in his arms. She lets him catch her lips in a dizzying kiss. Releasing her finally, Erin takes a deep breath and allows her eyes to refocus on his before whispering, "Morning, Jay."

"Morning Baby," he says huskily. His eyes dance and his smile is mischievous. His hair is still ruffled from a restless sleep. And the beard he'd grown over their vacation was one of her most favorite things. Although, she'd never tell him that either.

"Okay?" She smiles a little and wonders where he's going with this. Where ever he's going she's ready to follow. His long fingers drag through her hair, pushing it out of her eyes.

"Will you love me when I'm ancient?" The smile remains, but Jay's eyes are softly serious.

"Of course," Erin says, arching an eyebrow a little. "You're not planning on going bald are you?"

"Maybe. Love me still?" He touches his tongue to her upper lip, licking a little coffee off of it.

"Always, but no toupees, okay?." She laughs and tickles the small of his back. He twists under her hands and pulls her back into his arms, the hug tightens, briefly desperate.

"Jay? What's wrong?" She pulls back to look into his eyes, tracing her index finger along his jaw line.

"Mmmm . . . nothing Erin," he murmurs, his eyes cast down, his tongue darting out to caress her finger while it brushes his lips. "Just . . . nothing."

His fingers drag along her sides, moving under the thin fabric of her camisole smoothly. Erin takes in a little breath and releases a contented sigh.

"Nothing, huh?" Erin hooks her fingers into the waistband of his pajama pants, pulling him closer. She nuzzles her nose with his.

He smiles hesitantly and swallows nervously. "I heard someone was in town for a visit."

"Bunny?."

"I was gonna say that bitch, but yeah, Bunny."

Erin traces the hair below his navel, reveling in the softness. She scratches her name on his stomach with a lightly digging nail. He laughs and she watches the white lines fade away like disappearing ink.

Jay takes in a breath and splays his hands out across her chest. "I can't believe Adam and Kim are back together."

Jay nods, momentarily distracted by the way Erin's skin catches the light. He brushes his thumbs over the straps of her tank, and down over her chest to feel the beat of her heart.

"Yep. Who'd have seen that coming? I really thought her and Roman were going to turn into something special. But whatever makes Burgess happy, I guess"

"I think Adam has learned his lesson and hopefully he'll put Kim first this time. Sh'es a pretty good judge of character. And I trust her judgement. And Adam is our friend, he's your best friend...we should be nice"

Erin smiles fondly, catching his still wandering hand, and squeezing it in hers affectionately.

"I guess we should. huh?" Jay eyes Erin hopefully.

She bites her lip and stands, on her tip toes, to stare into Jay's eyes directly. "It's like I told Burgess, love makes us do crazy things."

Jay rolls his eyes and sighs.

"That it does."

Erin reaches out an index finger and smoothes out Jay's furrowed brows slowly. He blinks under her touch and her lips purse thoughtfully. The words seem far away when they leave her mouth. "We're not really . . . who we were anymore."

"No?" It's not really a question.

She sighs. Her gaze flickers around the room settling on an old picture. The picture of her and Jay that had once been the wallpaper on her phone, now sat in a frame on their mantle.

Jay follows her gaze uncertainly. He looks back down at his half naked girlfriend and sees her a few years younger, wide eyed and promising him things she didn't have the vaguest idea she'd actually keep. He sees her smiling. "It seems like yesterday."

"Yeah." Her smile brightens. "So what did you guys talk about?."

His eyebrows raise. "Excuse me?"

"Remember when you and Hank shocked us all and went fishing in Wisconsin a few weeks ago?."

"I do indeed, Er. So?" He knows what she means, but he needs to hear the words, just one more time.

"What did you guys talk about? I know Hank gave you a hard time about really knowing me. So I'm just curious of what you guys talked about all weekend. I mean you leave to go to Wisconsin barely speaking and you come back like you're best friends. It's a little weird"

"We had a fist fight, caught some fish...and that was it. Bonded over what a pain in the ass you are" Jay's fingers twitch at his sides as he attempts to hide his smirk.

Erin rolls her eyes and lets out an exasperated groan. "Screw You."

Erin started to walk away from him, and is turned by a strong hand, thrown roughly back into his arms. With a muffled moan, she gives in to his probing tongue, his hands fisted in her hair. He pulls back, breathless.

He rubs a hand along her jaw line tenderly. "He said I know you best," Jay whispers in a husky voice.

"Better than I know myself," Erin replies honestly.

Jay nodded and gave Erin a smile "Which is why I needed alone time with Hank, so that I could ask him something"

"What?" Erin asked.

Jay takes a deep breath and plunges ahead. "Baby, I'm gonna stumble through this. So bear with me." She nods gamely, the corner of her lip turning up slightly. "Quietly. Don't give me that look." Erin raises an eyebrow and rolled her eyes. "Keeping your mouth shut is not your strong suit."

"You usually like what I do with my mouth open." Her eyes scan his chest lustily and despite his best efforts to remain neutral Jay feels a familiar tightening in his stomach. Erin drags a confident hand down his belly, which she slides below the waistband of his sleep pants eagerly. He winces as her fingers skim over him, and through what seems at the time to be super human will power he pulls her hand away. Jay holds onto her wrist, stroking the soft skin, feeling her pulse, fast and crazy beneath the pad of his thumb.

"Please," he begins, his words tumbling on top of each other in a jumbled pile, "I'm going crazy here, Erin. You make me crazy. I keep falling. In love. God, can this sound like anymore of a Hallmark card moment? What I mean to say is . . . butterflies." He pulls her close and whispers into her ear, awe struck. "They haven't gone away."

Erin smiles and opens her mouth to respond but is silenced by Jay's finger, lightly resting against her lips.

He runs a hand through her hair. "I'm not saying this right. I've got this picture of us in my head. Just like the one we took on the mantle. This image of you in the bullpen when we were sneaking around together. I can see you, lost and hopelessly following Bunny. And watching this hold she had on you...so afraid that I was losing you forever." The venom in his tone is really more of a habit now like a conversation that a family might have more out of ritual than necessity.

Erin rolls her eyes and lowers a disapproving eyebrow in reply, fulfilling her part of their 'script.'

Jay smiles and rakes a hand over her bare stomach, watching goose bumps freckle her skin at the touch. "And then I see you coming back to me. Coming in to save me after I had been kidnapped. And I knew once I got you back, I was never going to let you go again"

Erin kisses a trail up his neck. As she reaches his ear, he drops his head into her shoulder, mumbling into her skin. "You and me on that couch you bought..."

Erin lets out a cross between a sigh and a giggle as his breath tickles her skin. He pulls away and stares down at her, want in his hazy blue eyes.

"And I look at you now," Jay says confusedly, wonder in his expression, "and I can't figure out how you got from there to here. I can't remember when I stopped being the guy who spent all his time worried about what Hank was going to say about us being together." He stares at her now. Erin blushes under his intense scrutiny and shifts on her feet. She has no real comeback, but intends to fill the charged silence.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Jay. Or what you're trying to say"

"Baby, what about this? I love you and it's been the best four years of my life. I want a renewal on that promise of "That's why you have back up."

Erin barely hears him over the beating of her heart. "Renewal?"

"A lifetime guarantee," Jay explained.

"You have it," Erin explains her eyes searching his.

Jay reached his hand up to gently caress Erin's cheek. "I do?"

Erin nodded and leaned her head into his hand. "Of course"

""You're sure?".

"Absolutely," Erin whispers with a wink.

Jay doesn't bother to look at her. "That's not gonna work. 'Absolutely' is your way of lying to me.".

"Jay," Erin mutters.

"No, I want it in writing," he whines.

"How very possessive of you, Jay." He receives a kiss on his lower lip for his behavior. Jay growls when Erin catches his lip between her teeth, scraping against it teasingly for a second before pulling away with a laugh.

"Maybe," Jay says quietly. His voice deepens and he coughs, trying in vain to hide the catch in his throat. Jay continues in a whisper, the kind reserved for prayer. "Or maybe I just want to see you hold out your hand to everyone and whisper, 'Look what Jay gave me.'" He gives her fingers a tender caress for emphasis.

"My hand?"

He moves away from her quickly, running over to the kitchen. He reaches behind a cereal box, placed on a high shelf. Erin's gaze follows Jay and she watches as he returns carrying something in his hand. And he grabs Erin's hand and pulls her down on the couch next to him. The small black velvet box he holds out hardly needs explanation.

"Marry me, Erin?" Jay stares at her earnestly. He rubs her hand between his two palms, which she now notices are clammy.

A smile lights up her face and she takes the box from him. Glancing down at it, she smiles and sets it back down next to her. Erin looks up at Jay nonchalantly. "Your trip to Wisconsin with Hank...was that what this was about?"

He doesn't miss a beat and answers with practiced cockiness. "Well, maybe..."

"And why might I ask did it take you so long to ask me? We've been living together for over a year."

"Seventeen months," Jay growls, his voice deep and sexy, "I like telling everyone that you like living in sin with me." He draws out the word "sin" like an invitation. Erin feels his hands sweat. She sees his foot knock against the side of the couch nervously.

"So help me, Jay," Erin threatens, "If you say anything along the lines of making an honest woman out of me . . . "

"Erin," Jay says, his voice a tad strained, "Marry me." He kisses her deeply, hoping to urge her to accept. Another look down at the box, assures him it's still there.

"My last name doesn't have to change whether I marry you or not," she replies stubbornly.

"True." He stares down at the box. Maybe through the powers of his mind he can get that ring out and onto her finger. "Say yes, Erin, you're ruining the beautiful moment." Jay knows he's whining now, but he's past caring.

"Beautiful moment?" Erin snorts. "Jay, your proposal was hardly poetic. I mean I can't say I wasn't expecting more?"

"More?" Jay repeated as he stood up from the couch and pulled Erin by the hand down towards their bedroom.

Erin nodded as she walked behind Jay as he pulled her towards the closed door. "Yeah, I mean I always took you to be the overly romant..."

Erin's voice trailed off as she looked in their bedroom at the pictures of them, roses and twinkle lights and tea light candles that decorated the room. On the freshly made bed were rose petals laid out in the shape of a heart with a Scrabble Board spelling out "Marry Me, Erin"

Erin turned and looked at Jay who stared back at her.

"How?..."

Jay smiled and cleared his throat. "Many...many...many trips up and down the fire escape"

Erin felt her heart race as Jay took a step towards her and knelt down to his knee in front of her.

"Erin Lindsay, I am crazy about you. I have been since the moment that I met you. You're my best friend and through everything life has thrown us over the last few years, we've both only came out on the other side, stronger together. You are the best thing in my life and I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you make me. I don't want another day to go by without making you mine forever. Will you marry me?"

Erin looked at Jay and down at the black velvet box. The simple, but beautiful princess cut ring flickered in the light as she looked down at the man she loved more than she ever thought possible and answered his question.

"Yes"

 ***~The End~***


End file.
